Restless

DISCLAIMER: This post may make absolutely no sense, or, it will make perfect sense. All Bloggers reserve the right to brain dump on occasion, right?
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I'm not sure what to call this feeling I have lately....restless is the first word that comes to mind, but I fear believe it is more than that. "Spring Fever" would be too dismissive, and "Mid-Life Crisis" may be too extreme. So I'm left with Restless.

Do you have those moments when you suddenly *need* to get out and run? A moment where a certain intensity hit your psyche, and you just have to get out the door and go.... either away from something, or to something, whatever it is, you just need to run. It's something like a "fight or flight" response I guess, but in this case, the run serves as both the fight, and the flight.

In my case, my 'moment' has lasted a few weeks now..... I find myself spending a great deal of time thinking about my life, where I am, where I've been, where I see myself going. I credit running for giving me this new found clarity and ability to truly listen to my thoughts and not ignore that which is 'uncomfortable'. It makes me feel immensely happy though - this is not a depressing *moment*, be sure of that, but I am proud that I have come to this place where I can be brave and face things honestly...things that I perhaps glossed over in the past, or didn't have the strength to face. I have that strength now, and it feels great. Now if only I could come up with some resolution to all of this Restless Spring Fever Midlife Crisis CRAP, I'd be even further ahead!

So, although the physical feeling of 'restlessness' is about to make me insane (like I don't think I could run ENOUGH right now), I am still very happy to be *present* in the moment, and in tune with my life. It may take some time to sort it all out, but I am ready to take it on - patiently, just the same as I have been doing with my running. Slow but sure progress, tweaking things where necessary, to get where I want to be.

How's this for saying a lot without saying anything at all? ;-)

The point of all this is to say, for most people, it's periods of time like this when people turn to alchohol, drugs, food, gambling, shopping...you know the list. We've all talked before about how running makes us feel, how it has changed our lives, the addiction of running etc.

Right now, I'm pretty damn glad to have *my* running, It has brought me to this point, and it will carry me through it and beyond.

Run on....