Houston....We Have A *problem*....

All is quiet in the house now on a Sunday evening after a weekend of coming and going, shopping, a birthday party, sleepovers for the girls....cleaning, laundry etc. *whew* I am a tired mama tonight! And I need a good vent, so here it goes....(deep breath...)

I had a 36 minute run yesterday, and something is 'amiss'. My knees are achey today, my hips are sore, my legs feel 'twingey'. I only got in two runs this week - THAT is a problem. And I am sore today from yesterday's run...THAT is a problem. Yesterday's run was also a 'garbage in garbage out' kind of run...thanks to my very poor eating the last week. THIS is a BIG problem.

So let's break this down....why am I suddenly sore from running? First answer is...I need better shoes . Second answer could be that I am slackin' on the stretchin'....this is easy to do, since a 36 minute run becomes 46 minutes with walking before and after, then stretching before and after...well, let's just say it's getting harder and harder to squeeze out an hour or more start to finish for my runs. I do stretch, but apparently not well enough....

Also, I have a consistently sore spot on my right leg...it's not the calf muscle itself, but it's at the very top very edge of the calf, on the outside of my leg. My nurse friend tells me it's my 'gastrocnemius muscle'. Hmmm..my research tells me (ha ha) that this is a common sports injury in the 'middle aged athlete' (cough cough), caused by impact such as doing lunges, or playing tennis. Well, I do have some lunges in my total body workout, which I haven't done in awhile, but I think I can trace this back to then. It doesn't bother me while I run, it starts a few hours after I run. It's not pain, it's just something I'm aware of when I bend my knee a certain way, [but it's not my knee, it's on the side of my leg]. It feels like I got bruised there or something. It goes away after a day or two of rest. Maybe new shoes will help with that too.

That's the physical stuff...now the mental stuff. I'm mad at myself for letting stress get the better of me last week. I ate poorly - not necessarily pigged out, but I was so busy and had no time to plan and it just wasn't happening for me last week. My work is crazy right now because my boss is on a medical leave, which was unexpected - and of course this is the WORST time of the year to be doing the job of three people. (Bad enough I do two jobs on a regular basis...) So I had some anger going on last week, on top of my angst over the calendar, the holiday looming, and all the craziness yet to do. Then I was a little under the weather, so the running - well, like I said, I only got two in, so that really bothered me. Haven't done strength training either and I literally feel like parts of me are turning to mush already...so THAT makes me mad.

So now I'm going to make myself a cup of tea and crawl into bed with my Oprah magazine. Most of you probably have heard of or seen the latest issue where Oprah is battling the scale again - very publicly (again). Something I read in her article last night really hit home for me...and it is just these words that have me pulling myself up and moving forward. Oprah says,

" I don't have a weight problem - I have a self-care problem that manifests through weight. My friend....shared with me, "your overweight self doesn't stand before you craving food. She's craving (self) love." Falling off the wagon isn't a weight issue; it's a love issue."

Ok, I may not be so 'overweight' anymore....but I could very easily be, the moment I let my guard down and succumb to life's stresses (again). Work demands, family demands....I found myself all last week scrambling to meet so many other's needs, and it was so EASY to put mine aside! As soon as I started putting myself aside, look what happened. I made poor food choices, I put off my exercise, then I felt guilty...and this is the very cycle that got me to that fateful day on my broken scale 5 months ago. I have to say that Oprah is on to something here....reading those words just really struck a chord with me. A few weeks in to this journey, I realized that putting this part of myself first was important, and everything else sort of fell into line nicely. This is NOT the week I just had, that is for SURE. But the important thing is that I recognize how and why things went a little haywire, and I am stopping it in it's tracks NOW.

Ok, NOW I am going to get that tea, and my cozy bed...

Because I've earned it!

Cheers!