You all probably have noticed that I removed the scale/tape measure logo from the layout. Somewhere along the way, each time I saw that picture, it felt not quite 'right' - I couldn't quite put my finger on it, until over last weekend during my run, it hit me. I thought, 'that scale is not what this journey is all about any more!' Whenever I see that logo, I feel somewhat detached or something? My journey is now about fitness, whatever I weigh - dropping pounds has become a 'perk' as a result of running. So is my good mental health, my positive emotional well-being, my ability to cope with life's challenges, and the fact that I now fit into my size 10 dress pants that are too big everywhere - except in the waist. I look more fit, and 'skinnier' than I did when I weighed 140 pounds three years ago. At 140 pounds, I was excited to be in a size 12!
Today, I weighed 150, down another pound - which is a great feeling, don't get me wrong, but I find myself 'obsessing' more about my level of fitness, then the number on the scale, or the tape measure. These are markers of progress, another guidepost to measure and achieve my goals, absolutely....but I think I have turned a corner in that, I am not ruled by those numbers any more! This is a great feeling for me, I get a sense of freedom from this. This is going to sound 'catty' and is not meant to be - but there are some blogs I have visited where the author is just SO. STRESSED.OUT over the number on the scale....almost to the point where it is an unhealthy obsession. I feel bad for those folks, and have often offered whatever consolation I can - I know it can be frustrating, I mean, wow - I've lived this my whole adult life! But becoming 'free' from those numbers on the scale has to come from within ourselves. No outside encouragement, no matter how insightful it is, is going to rescue someone from the scale. It all comes from within, I know that now!
So, pats on the back for another pound lost, but I'm MORE excited with how easy my 30 minute runs are becoming, and how comfortable I feel while running, and all the other 'perks'. Those are the things I celebrate now, the weight loss is a bonus!
Off to spend the day at the Cleveland Clinic! We've already been to the eye doctor and for haircuts this morning....it's a full day! I am enjoying being 'full time mom' for today though...
Cheers!
Wednesday, October 8, 2008
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6 comments:
Your post could not come at a better time for me...THANK YOU. I do think that you and I are literally from the same cloth as I have told you before.
When you read my post you'll see what I once again think this...have fun being a full time mom today.
xoxo
High five! Good luck with the docs.
What a great post! Cyndi you should've been a journalist.
I completely feel the same way that you do about fitness. Even though I need and want to lose more weight(I will)if I just keep being healthy and exercising I know that the weight will come off. I purposely did away with the "weightloss" counters for that reason.
150 in a size 10 is better than 140 in size 12 :) Good job!
I'm glad your runs are getting eaiser and easier! Your awesome Cyndi!
I just love you twin (((((CYNDI)))))
Thank you for your kind and encouraging words...you'll be with me this weekend. :-)
I think the new look is great, and I love your reasoning behind it (plus that running picture with the quote is so awesome!!). Congrats on the weight loss, and I love how you recognize your other accomplishments and see the loss as a bonus! That's such a healthy attitude to have, and it's what I've been trying to do lately. It definitely comes from within, but encouragement is always nice. = )
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